it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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