"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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