And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Everyone says I win the strip club
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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