Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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