I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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