Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mom said you looked used
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize