just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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