Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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