I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just high enough for therapy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
