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• (847): View more from Illinois

  as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.

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• (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic

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• (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

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• (845): View more from New York

  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i've created a new STD.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.

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• (+77): View more from

  Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!

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