Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

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(850): View more from Florida

hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out

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(573): View more from Missouri

Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.

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