I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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