I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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