I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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