hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize