The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize