drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
