i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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