so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's like iHOP with fire
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
