How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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