I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
