Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
