she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
