Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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