guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
