ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
