i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
