if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
