How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
