you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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