when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no you cant smoke seaweed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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