hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
