I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
