i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
