Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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