If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
