you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
its liver damage thursday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
