I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
