Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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