You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Buhtt sex?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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