I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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