I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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