yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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