moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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