what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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