I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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