just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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