Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
