I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize