exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
