Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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