Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
