it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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