Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
