I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize