Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
