Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
