he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
