I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
