lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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